Alright, alright, alright already! I know it's September and I have hardly even thought of this blog. To say that I have been busy just doesn't do myself justice. I know everyone feels busy, but I am pretty sure I top the list of busy. Here's a quick recap of the last month in my life.
I spend every weekend an hour and a half from my current home in Holland. I go back to my home town area to play softball with my family on a co-ed slow pitch league. My husband generally stays here while I take my 4 kids so he can work the overtime we need to survive. My weeks have been spent unpacking, doing laundry and regular chores done in 7 days condensed down to 5 days, and repacking for the weekend away. On top of this our only vehicle was vandalized and had to go away for a week for repairs. We got a 5 seater rental from our insurance company and if you follow my blog, you will know that was 1 seat short for our family. To say the least it was an interesting week. We have also added a puppy to our family and I have started working from home. Both are taking more of my time than I ever imagined. Now, my youngest and oldest have returned to school as well as my husband. I am preparing to be gone for a long weekend in October to visit college friends I haven't seen in about 8 years! There is also the return of preschool for my twins in October as well as religious education classes for all 4 kids at the end of September. My oldest will be joining a bowling league soon, which will occupy my Saturday mornings. Then there is the fact that my husband is still job searching so we can live closer to our family and raise our kids in the area we want them to grow up in. Phew! No wonder I'm so dead tired every night. And I am still battling that ridiculous insomnia.
Now that everyone is updated, I want to get to the point of my blog. ME. I always put everything else in my life first. My kids, family, pets, job, house, everything! That has to stop. I mean I don't even get time to shower every day. As gross as that may sound to most people it is a very real part of my life with 4 kids. So if you are considering a big family, maybe consider what you will be giving up.
Anyways, I want to work on me. Just me. Nothing that doesn't involve me, myself and I. Part of my goals always used to contain my family, job or house. But I need to step back and work on me. I have a few things in mind... 1. shower, daily no excuses 2. workout 5 times weekly 3. give myself time for me to do the things I enjoy daily (even 20 minutes is enough) 4. make decisions based on me instead of everyone else This last one is gonna be very hard, but I need to make that change. I do understand that my kids will almost always influence my decisions in one way or another. However, they should not be my only deciding factor. I need to make sure I'm doing things that will be good for me as well. I need not be sorry for taking time to myself or feel guilty when I want some alone time.
I know I sound very selfish. I've never said these types of things so boldly before. I personally don't care what others will think because I know myself and I know it's time for this change to happen. I've been working all summer on making myself better. And I've done so in every other aspect except for me personally. I'm sure this is confusing, so let me explain.
I've done lots to be more motivated, more patient with my kids, keeping my house cleaner, and lots of other things that involve not only myself but others in my life. Now I want to work on things that will only benefit myself. No one around me cares if I shower every 2-3 days or daily. Nor do they care if I workout or get a quiet minute to myself. I have also not made a decision solely for me since before I met my husband. So little over 13 years ago. For me to feel better as a person, about myself, I need to do these things.
So, here's to starting the next chapter!
~Hugs, B.
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